Being engaged is an exciting time; it's a time to dream and look forward to the future.

For many, getting engaged is something they have dreamed about all of their life. However, your engagement can also be a stressful time; there are countless decisions to make, other people's expectations and opinions to balance, and a future to plan.

In the last seven years, my husband and I have had the privilege of working with countless engaged couples through our premarital counseling services. During this time, we have learned a lot from the couples we have had the opportunity to work with, and noticed that there are distinct differences between the couples who navigate this time with joy and ease and those who carry a lot of stress and are burdened.

We have created this list just for engaged couples that will help you and your fiance thrive during this time:

1. First things first, enjoy this precious time!

2. Go on a date night once a week and vow not to talk about wedding planning.

3. Be sure you're spending more time working on your relationship and friendship than you are on your wedding; don't let your relationship get pushed to the back burner during wedding planning.

4. Promise each other right here and now to never threaten divorce during difficult times.

5. Get to know what your fiance's biggest dream is. (Did you know that this is one of the secrets to a healthy relationship?)

6. Talk about what you each want your life to look like as a married couple. For example: What will your weeknight, weekends and vacations look like? How do you want to spend your free time? Will you allocate time for "girl's night" and "guy's night"? Will you go to bed at the same time every night? Will you get up together in the morning?

7. Talk about what how you will split household chores; who will take over dishwasher duty? Will you share laundry duty or would you rather do laundry if your hubby takes the trash out every night? Whatever you decide together, be willing to take over when and if needed. For example, if your spouse typically does the dishes, be willing to take over dish duty if he's too tired or had a stressful day.

8. Embrace your differences, and don't think of them as a negative part of your relationship. See them as a gift; because they exist, the two of you make a perfect whole.

9. Discuss expectations for everything in life: holidays, finances, children, entertaining, keeping in touch with loved ones, vacations, careers, and so forth. Be willing to let go or adjust some of your expectations, and be flexible when it comes to compromising, but don't be afraid to speak up for yourself if something really matters to you.

10. Often times, our expectations for life in a marriage stems from our childhood and how we saw our parents do things. However, remember you are starting a new family with your spouse! You get to start fresh and do things "our" way and not "my" way. In my experience as a counselor, hidden expectations cause strife and resentment and can lead to larger issues in a marriage.

11. Discuss what your priorities are in life, such as God, family, friends, church, work, and so on. Figure out what your priorities are and how they will fit into your life as a married couple in the future.

12. Talk about what it means to you to be a good wife and husband; you should also discuss what you want in your wife or husband. Allow your fiancee space and time to share their thoughts and desires as well.

13. Commit to no secrets. Your relationship can only be as healthy as your openness is with each other.

14. Talk about your in-laws and what boundaries you will be putting in place. Honor your parents and give them grace as they navigate this new phase of parenting. If you or your fiancé are the first to be married in your family, understand this is new to everyone and things will have to be worked out. Being open and honest in your communication and boundaries will ultimately help your relationship.

15. For some couples, sex may be difficult. Have open communication before, during and after. Don’t be afraid to see a doctor if you are having any difficulties.

16. Don’t try to be the perfect wife/husband. Perfect does not exist. Do your best.

17. Don’t expect your spouse to be perfect. Perfect does not exist. They are doing their best.

18. Give 100%.

19. Give your spouse and yourself grace in all circumstances as your try to figure out how to be married.

20. Take your spouse’s side in front of family and friends.

21. Thank God for your spouse when you wake up every morning and when you go to bed every night.

Marriage is in incredible gift and so much fun; you get to spenf the rest of your life with the person God created specifically for you. You will always have someone to help you celebrate the good times, hold you in the bad times, and laugh with you in the funny times.

Prepare for it, pray for it.

Be willing to be flexible, be a team.

Know that your marriage will go through all kinds of different seasons. They will be hard and beautiful all at the same time.

If you or someone you know is recently engaged and would like additional support during this time from a licensed professional, my husband and I would love to work with you through our pre-marital counseling services! We serve young couples and work to help them navigate the emotional journey of engagement and prepare for a happy and healthy marriage.